It’s Not Always About You
You spent hours on your presentation. You practiced it, you re-wrote it and you obsessed over final graphics. Then you deliver it.
Did they like it? How come no one is stopping afterward to talk to you about the highlights? Doesn’t anyone want to talk more about how your presentation impacted their world?
It took you hours to craft that email just the way you wanted it. You send it out to your team for their reaction. You wait. And wait. No response. You stress about it all night only to still see no response in your email the next morning.
Did they hate it? Do they think you are wrong? Are they so put out by what you wrote that they couldn’t even respond?
How often do we spend valuable time stressing about how others think about us? How often do we assume that no response means people didn’t like what we had to say? How often do we assume that our work sucked just because no one has told us how great it was?
In other words, how often do we expect that other people’s lives revolve around being responsive to us?
We do it innocently. After all, we know we aren’t the center of the universe (right?). But, by thinking that everyone else’s priorities are completely aligned with ours, we put an undo amount of stress and judgment on our work and ourselves.
Instead of remembering that your team has a big deliverable due this week, you worry that they are secretly revolting behind your back thus why no one is responding to your email within 24 hours.
Instead of remembering that your presentation was one of many your audience received that day, you worry that lack of conversation afterwards is a sign of disinterest.
Instead of remembering that you don’t make every conference call you are scheduled for, you worry that lack of participation on the call you are hosting means disinterest in your topic.
In fact what’s happening is that other people have work of their own to get done before they respond, they need to take a quick break before their next presentation, and they had a conflict for your call that they couldn’t get out of.
It was not about you. It usually isn’t.
Save yourself some stress – remember that it’s not always about you.
“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives”. ~Tony Robbins
Quick Hit Health: Reset Yourself
The next time you find yourself wasting time stressing about what someone is “thinking about you”, write down a list of all the things that could be on that person’s mind/agenda/to do list.
Reset your perspective. Stop stressing and move on knowing that most likely, they aren’t even thinking about you at the moment.
